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Millions of words have been written about relationships but most of those words are
about symptoms. They miss the point. The closer your relationship with another person
the less it has to do with words.
What makes a relationship work or not work has
about 80% to do with the couple’s emotions and energies, only about 15% has to do
with their actions and less than 5% with the words they express to each other.
So when a couple argue about the words they use they are only discussing 5% of their relationship.
When a couple argue about the things they are doing or not doing they are only discussing 15% of their relationship.
Yes, talking about emotions is more difficult. For some couples (or one partner anyway) it may be as difficult as learning a foreign language!
If the relationship is sound then once they have both learned to talk openly and honestly (to each other) about their feelings many relationship problems will cease and intimacy will be enhanced dramatically.
If the relationship is damaged but repairable once both partners learn to talk openly and honestly (to each other) about their feelings the relationship will start to mend and what seemed like serious issues will often turn out to be only about words.
If the relationship is beyond repair then talking openly and honestly about this will help the couple part with dignity.
Working with polar opposite energies (these are deeper than just feelings) using voice dialogue is the most powerful relationship builder of all.The understanding that a sound relationship is energy based 80% of the time allows the partners to focus on the “energetic linkages” that turn an ordinary relationship into something special.
See Linkage pages including
Additional notes on the Love languages
See also Partnering
This site shows you how to use a greater awareness of feelings and energies to identify and to fix the real relationship problems.